Tan-ta-na-nan... me!!

I AM GOING FUCKING INSANE! NPIMH: INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE!!

I abhor this feeling,
of dreading things that 
I actually do not know
and I can never know.

I worry A LOT. Yes, sometimes I can be fickle and not walk what I preach in life.

Yesterday, I got very nervous for no reason at all? my chest became heavy and I started to dread for things that may happen: my mother getting weaker. It is actually a thing that may not yet happen for a couple of years because my mother is constantly reminding me that she does not feel anything bad. I do trust her, because she is not a very good liar; if she feels alright then she is. However, pictures, stories, messages thrown at me signifying my fears are appearing out of nowhere! and this makes me a whole lot crazier. I COULD NOT AFFORD to lose my one and only family. NOT YET! The fact is everybody gets frail at some point in their life and will have to meet their maker but not my mother YET.

That's the only thing I worry about.

I stumbled and fell this past few months because of the numerous trials in my personal and professional life involving resources, career, and education. PEOPLE have fucked me off, people who hides in the devil's coat and false prophets. This took a toll on me and I am starting all over again with my life. I felt lonely during those times and I am asking to please do not do another harm on me today.

I AM BEGGING GOD TO MAKE US HAPPY AND HEALTHY. I WOULD FIGHT FOR MY MOM AND MYSELF. I WOULD FUCKING FIGHT TILL I BLEED NO MORE.


Although I have kulot, this sense of being all alone in the world does not leave my body. He is not the answer, but my faith. Speaking of my faith, i believe it is still under construction thus I am really vulnerable. Add the fact that I am an only child, got no close relatives to love me like how my parents did. I have trust issues with people too, I have been with a lot of bad crowds and this caused me so much pain.

BUT, there is a flicker of light that caught my attention. As I wrote every words in this entry, tried to look for a picture of the term "worry" and this is what i immediately saw:

I really do not know how to react. Is this my answer? answer to what? I just don't know. Although my confusion inevitable ( I am just a damn stupid human) I will still thank our almighty. Somehow, this picture figuratively placed a caring hand on my shoulder.

sigh... I have to breathe.

Let me breathe...

I am still on with the pangungulit God.

Waley Wednesday :D

Pecha de Peligro 

We are in that "gipit" period before the pay day: we call it petsa de peligro. :D
So, since our pockets are thin and we can not splurge on shopping and dining we opted to relax and window shop at Shopwise Makati.

Let me introduce first my partner in crime: Alfie!

Si alfie sa HK, sosyal ang lola mo! haha!

Alfie is one of my best buds: we grew up together, we went to the same school, and are very close to each other's family. I consider him as my brother. We fight alot and get annoyed with one another, yet we manage to stay on each other's side through it all. 

As we pass the different stalls, counters and corners in Shopwise we cringe and then day dream of buying things we don't really need in life (lolz! pang-asar lang sa sarili namin). As for myself, I like to practice photography whenever and wherever (yea right!).

here is the sample :D walang kokontra! 

I don't eat fruits, but they look really scrumptious here!

I'd like to pat my shoulders for the good pictures (edited and filtered) taken with my reliable Blackberry mobile phone. teehee! 

afterwards we went to eat in a really affordable Japanese Resto (ilang kembot lang from shopwise).

This is the only picture i took of the resto (sorry! konti lang ang inorder namin, waley nga datung ang mga beki).

The resto is called J boy, i believe its the short-cut for Japanese boy. You get a decent serving of the food at an affordable price. I ordered the kakiage meal while Alfie ordered the pork katsudon meal. Maybe next time I'll take pictures of the foodies w/ price and post it here FYI. 

The day ended up with boisterous story telling between us. Its nice, and I thank God for "de Day", kahit wala masyadong pera. masaya pa din! AMEN.

Blog and the Blogger

To blog or not to blog? This is not a difficult one to figure out for me.

I kept a blog for a short period of time and i grew weary of it! I needed something fresh, a more personal and a more exciting blog site for my little whims, rants, dreams and whatevers (i know this is not a word you would find in the handy dandy dictionary, its my very personal lingo. nice no? XD).

There are countless things that attracts this always curious mind of mine, and although I'm in a very very ripe age, i still want to experience many things! Habang bumibilang ang edad ko, bumibilang din ang mga bagay na kailangang alamin.

My partner, whom i fondly call kulot gets very mad when I talk about the possibility of me dying (hey everybody will die eventually, some at a young age hindi ba. Una-unahan lang yan) but what he doesn't get about  this mortality talk is the essence of living and what you could do while you are still breathing. This is one of my inspiration of doing this blog: that when i die (50 years from now hehe) i will leave something for the people (i don't count) that made me an essential part of their life. This hopefully will bring them fresh memories of the times we spent here on our mother earth. :) AMEN.

and, gone are the days of the pen and paper. Blogging is the new journal.

So i guess in my own little standards, I am now officially a blogger!

if you are one of my loved ones: Nakakahiya naman! haha! JK This is for you! I hope you like it!

as for the guest readers/hater or whatevers: HI! welcome and an advanced THANK YOU, GOD BLESS YOU.